Portugal Tour Cancelled !!! 2021 Asterisks Tour To Go Ahead !!!

The 2021 Portugal golf tour has been in doubt for sometime but today Global Events Organiser Hoppy Dearsley announced that , due to the Global Pandemic, this years tour has had to be called off.

But the good news is that a 2021 Portugal **Asterisks** Tour has now been announced.

Based on the same, very successful, lines as the 2021 Asterisks Tour this will be the second Portugal Tour actually played exclusively in the UK !

The planned dates are set out in the first cut timetable below which at this time has been agreed by all the players, but as has happened in the past circumstances may arise where players are injured, can’t be arsed to turn up, forget completely that they were meant to be playing golf, or fresh Covid restrictions are put in place and the schedule will have to be amended.

Meanwhile it is full steam ahead !

 

 

Shock horror this year as two of the most experienced players, The Mighty MK Seve (CEO of SEVEBET) and Sir Michael King have had to pull out due to  their complete disinterest increased commitments during the summer months.

“It is with a heavy heart that I have been forced to withdraw from this hastily organised **Asterisks** event. Having won the last two bona fide Portugal Tours this competition I consider very much to be a second cousin in terms of importance.

And if you have met my second cousin, Heinrick Von Kowal, you will understand what I am talking about.

I have heard from my people that the 2022 Portugal Tour is now booked to commence on 10th May 2022 and I will be on the first tee in Vilamoura  ready willing and able to defend my title !!!”

said MK Seve from his New Zealand mansion at this mornings’ press Zoom conference.

We contacted Sir Michael King for his comments but he was too busy to come to the call:

“Look I’ve told you once ! “confirmed Sir Kingey.

It was later confirmed that he hadn’t told us once.

Speculation as to who would be joining the Tour for this historic event has been rife !

Some of the biggest names in sport have been bandied about by various pundits during the last two weeks. Some have had their money on Sean Connery, only to find that he has left us, God Bless Him, others have suggested Pamela Anderson, Samantha Fox and Holly Willoughby but they will be disappointed to find out that they are all girls and therefore are not eligible, although the majority of those actually taking part would be very happy to welcome them on board.

The gentlemen who will be joining this, thought to be one off event, will be none other than CEO of Shorrocks Industries Big K Shorrocks himself and that well known ace sportsman Sir Roger Large.

Both players were unavailable for comment this morning. Big K was out walking the dog and Sir Roger , apparently, had inadvertently locked himself in the wine cellar over the weekend, his good lady wife was quoted as saying

“I think he is endeavouring to drink himself out !”  said the lovely Lady Carole.

Other news just breaking is that Tony “Get me to the church on time” Bryan , CEO of SEVE-CYBER, has just announced that his newly formed company will be sponsoring this years **Asterisks** Tour.

“We feel that this event suits our Corporate image.” says Tony “It has the right cultural feel and portrays the essence of SEVE-CYBER’s core values. Many will be surprised that a bunch of old blokes wandering about in fields would be able to do this but believe me that’s what Crypto currencies are all about !!”

For further confirmation of dates and venues watch this space.

 

Big K Shorrocks and Sir Roger Large together at an event earlier in the year with former Champion Michael Rushal and Lord Chilly of Uzerlam , just before the fight broke out.