Portugal 2024 – New Names In The Frame as Tour Players Are Announced !!

At a hastily convened press conference today Hoppy Dearsley announced the Players so far confirmed for the 2024 Portugal Tour:

“Well we held back until today to get that weekend competition out of the way, but it is my pleasure to announce the first of the Rookies for the 2024 Portugal Tour, yes I can confirm that Simon Locock will be on the first tee at The Old Course next May !

Simon , 4th place man in the 2022 and 2023 Flamborough Head Banger has been threatening to join the Portugal tour for some years now. His appearances in Bridlington over the past 5 years have been legendary and his recent keyboard work at this year’s Admiral’s Cup gathering was breath taking !”

MK Seve now took the stage with an unexpected interruption:

“We are pleased to have Simon join the crew.” says MK Seve “Particularly but not solely because he has a much better computer than Dearsley which means we might get the scoring finished before bloody midnight !!”

Simon himself was not available for comment as he is mysteriously touring in Italy at this time, although that could be a rumour.

Big K Shorrocks was somewhat disappointed at the the announcement:

“Hold on a minute !  Simon is part of our Super Bock Tour !!! He has been our first reserve for the past 5 years you can’t just take him away with you ! Good grief what is going on !!!”

Big K was led away by some of his assistants and a medical looking chap but was spotted later in a jacuzzi.

The full line up has yet to be verified but old hands Mick R, Nigel Carby, Hoppy Dearsley, Lord Chilly , last year’s rookie Tony D (and his caddie Terry) have now signed up but a question mark still sits above MK Seve and Monty who have been carrying injuries for the last few months.

“We can fight through the pain !” said MK and Monty in a joint statement. “Using the recovery powers of Super Bock, this years generous sponsors, and with the healing hands of Dr Carby on hand what could possibly go wrong !!”

Full Tour details will be announced shorty shortly.

New Portugal Tour man Simon L  (on the left we think) , pictured here with some blokes from Newark.