2024 Super Bock Steaks Portugal – Big “K” Back In The Frame !!

The Super Bock Steaks is a golf competition within another golf competition. many sage philosophers have tried to explain this phenomena and many have failed miserably, so we are not going to bother here !

Day 1 of this 3 day 12 man (or could be 11) competition was staged at Vale da Pinta  near Silves in the hills over the Algarve. Sunshine , a light breeze and a golf course prepared with love and affection. Following the traditional Blessing performed by Richard Balington the boss of  Algarve Golf the players embarked on this years quest for glory.

Uncle Nigel Carby was on his A game in the  sunshine. A Birdie on the 1st led to a crushing 40 point opening game leading Kevin on 37 and Julian, who unexpectedly flew to Norway the following day , on 34.

Day 2 saw the players arrive at Salgados Golf and Sailing Club and there was shock and horror in the air because:

A). it became clear that there was more sailing than golf involved at Salgados

and B). Roger appeared and it was obvious that yet another Player had tried to emulate Nigel Carby’s “Flying Headbutt” World Record of 2017 and sadly had failed miserably in the attempt leaving Roger bloodied, bandaged but proud and keen to compete !

The round got underway after Dr Stewart confirmed that Sir Roger was fit to play and off the , now 11, went. A difficult day unfolded with tales of Pirates, Frigates , Krakens and Sea Urchins but luckily none of the Players , apart from Max was too badly affected by the oceanic qualities of the golf course.  Max fell in with a bad crowd of mariners on the 8th Tee and following a spell as Chief Stoker on a Armenian Steamer he re-joined the group in the Clubhouse having posted 25 points. Chilly was the man on form on 31 and Mick R , inspired by the aquatic atmosphere and playing the back 9 wearing a deep sea diving suit came in 3rd with 27 points. Not a high scoring day !

So the scene was set for the final round at Laguna, in Vilamoura , a new venue for the Shorrocks’ contingent. Nearly as much water as Salgados but nevertheless a challenge. Kevin, Nigel and Chilly were leading the comp as things got underway. Dearsley thought he had a hole in one on the second and VAR had to get involved to confirm that the ball had never touched the hole. The day unfolded with much gnashing of teeth and the sound of ball on water but as the 18th green loomed into sight Big K Shorrocks had triumphed by 3 points ahead of a resurgent Nigel pushing Chilly into 3rd and Dearsley , who won the last day with 31, into 4th. Rookies Simon and Charlie were in the prizes with Max cracking in 28 points to take 6th place.

At the prize giving ceremony that evening, which was slightly mired by cries of “Get on with it you Twats !” , from a petulant crowd, Kevin Shorrocks accepted the Trophy and major prize pot with his normal eloquence :

“Thank you Gentlemen, it has been a magnificent Tournament and I am elated to have won it for the first time !” and gracefully the Shorrocks entourage, including ambulance men, naval attaches and nurses withdrew from the Old Village venue.

The Super Bock Steaks will be staged again later in the year in Bridlington.

Kevin Shorrocks with 2nd and 3rd placed Chilly and Nigel. (note: the actual Super Bock Trophy was impounded by Portuguese Customs but will be officially presented in the UK later in the summer)

French Film Star Charlie B making a welcome personal appearance during the ceremony.

Dr Stewart administering sympathy and Super Bock to Sir Roger Large during the proceedings.

Big K Shorrocks just after receiving the Super Bock Steaks Trophy and moments before the authorities arrived.