2022 Super Bock Steaks – 12 Men – 3 Golf Courses – One Winner !!!!

The 12 Players gathered on the first tee at Vale da Pinta , the huge gallery swayed in the light breeze as the Right  Reverend Carby led the hymns before the first tee was blessed ready for the off.

The first day of this 3 day Tournament was led by Big Tony Bryan as he pilled in 40 points, 4 ahead of Father Roger Large on 36 and Clive Hoppy Dearsley on 35. The course was in great condition, which was in contrast to the players, but beautiful sunshine stayed with the 12 all day. Post match drinks were served with Portuguese beef and onion rolls in a traditional setting all provided by His Holiness Big K Shorrocks.

Day 2 was a new venue for the Portuguese Super Bock Steaks, Laranjal. Hills , lakes , massive bunkers  and super tricky greens. This is what the players were looking forward too, well some of them. Others had come equipped with fishing equipment and sailors hats , just in case, and Max was accompanied by two wrens and a shotgun , on the off chance that some nasty Sirens could appear and start coaxing him onto the rocks.

Big K Shorrocks threw down the gauntlet with a 40 point 2nd round thrusting himself to the top of the Leader Board. Lord Chilly put in 36 and Nigel hit 35. Going into the final round Kevin lead on 73, Nigel on 69, Tony 68 and Chilly 67.

All they had to do now was to get round the O’Connor Jnr. No problem !

Christie O’Connor Jnr, apparently, was a nice mild mannered guy, generous and a family man. What on earth was his problem the day he laid out this 18 holes is now shrouded in mystery. As the players stood on the first tee, hooded and sombre in the sunshine many wondered what had brought them to this place of pain and anguish. Dr Stewart read out loud some passages from the R&A book of rules to calm the group and dead on the stroke of noon the first ball was hit.

5 hours later a group of almost unrecognisable figures stumbled into the palatial clubhouse screaming for Super Bock and sustenance. The day had taken its toll. Dr Stuart , covered in sand, was incoherent for 20 minutes until the healing powers of the Super Bock slowly brought him back from the edge. Max and Roger Large were helped from their buggys by the local nursing staff and the usually demure Big K Shorrocks had to be calmed with tea, sympathy and assurances that there would be no more golf that day.

Standing out amongst the group was Seve Bet CEO MK Seve:

“What on earth is all the fuss about. This is a man’s course. A little bit of water ! a few chasms ! 200 yards carries to the fairway, Himalayan greens. I found the whole experience slightly challenging but fulfilling in a golfy sort of way. Now pull yourselves together!”

With this MK slammed his 33 point card on the table and disappeared into the treatment centre.

As the prize giving commenced , some ours later, most of the players had returned to a semblance of normality. Saline drips had been liberally distributed and  only Monty and Mick R were still confined to oxygen tents.

Big Tony Bryan claimed the big prize just one point ahead of Nigel on 97 in second place and Kevin on 96 in 3rd, MK Seve climbed into 5th  with the mighty Roger Large hanging on to 7th place.

Full recovery was finally confirmed for all the Players as they gathered in the famous “Cheapy Chicken” Eating Emporium later in the evening. Celebrations continued late into the night and some Players were still awake at 9.40 pm.

The Super Bock Handicap Steaks will once again be up for grabs in Bridlington in September 2022.

MK Seve presenting the Super Bock Trophy to Tony Bryan with Mick R (Head of Security) watchfully involved.